in reflective-type mode right now------i think i need a hug.............
------he left yesterday------------
-----my dad, that is-------
-- gone to the mansion in the sky.........
he left March 10,1998--8:45 p.m. CST--
his funeral is Friday--the day i was to arrive in Capetown...
but -------i have to 'stay' here for the funeral--
-for my kids--for my family--for my friends----for myself...............
"and a landslide brought me down................."
jan
p.s.--there was another funeral i attended about a year and a half
ago------------------after the "in-church" ceremony--------
------we were at the cemetary--
---the priest completes the final church service at the
gravesite------------------
---------now it is a very, very cold and windy day--about a minus 10 degree
windchill in the air---
at this point--- family and friends were given helium-filled balloons to
release together as a final tribute to show our LOVE for the departed ONE--
-----we let the balloons go----
----- but because of the extremely cold air-------- they would not go up---
-as the different colored balloons are bouncing along the ground--
scattering here and there--a song was being played on the boombox----
-it was the favorite song of the person --
------for whom the funeral was for...............
-----it was a song called "goodbye says it all" by a country group called
Blackhawke...
as the song is finishing--last words being sung--"Goodbye says it
aaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll""...............
.............all of the balloons that had been floating aimlessly across the
nearby fields --
-all came together---whish........
and formed ONE 'tornado-shaped' unit---and rose simultaneously to the sky in
ONE big whoosh..............
all in attendance started sobbing uncontrollably--it was an extremely intense
moment--
----------as this happened-------------tears streaming down my
cheeks----------
----------i said to the guy above--------------
"ok-buddy--(i do call him buddy once in awhile)-ok buddy--if you are so
kind--and so fair --and so just--how can you make us feel this sad?"
and.....
he said to me:
"Because you are not here with us!!!!!!"
(the funeral was for my son)
(over the last 3 years my dad has walked with me---about once per year---
-in the front of the funeral processions---the first one was for my mom (his
wife), then my brother (his son) and then my son's (his grandson's)....
this time i will have to walk it alone................this time.....it will
be.....................
..........................................my dad's
(his)..........................................................