A collection of excerpts from english "signature files", more or less wise and humorous sayings Collected from Usenet, mailinglists and other networks since 1991 --- "The question is not, can animals reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?" -Jeremy Bentham, philosopher, 1748-1832. --- ______________________________________________________________________________ Jason Osborne | "Women- can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts" -Norm | "Do you like children? | That depends on how you cook them..."- WC Fields ______________________________________________________________________________ --- "The world is a strange place." "Someone oughta sell tickets." "I'd buy one!" --- Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. -- Abraham Lincoln --- Every 4 seconds a woman has a baby. We must find this woman and stop her. --- If you can't love the constitution, at least hate the government. --- o------------------------------o | `I have seen the truth, and | | it makes no sense.' | | - OFFICIAL! | o------------------------------o --- +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | | | The one who doesn't learn from history | | is bound to live through it again. | | | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ --- ________________________ |"Materialism is wrong,| | only when it's not | | evenly distributed." | | | ------------------------ --- "Martin is a famous womanizer. Each night Martin has over twohundred women in his bed ... Sorry, did I say bed? Twohundred women in his mind!" (Ian Anderson ueber ein Bandmitglied) --- We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. - Phyllis Diller --- When there are two conflicting versions of a story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst. -- Avery --- "I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't necessarily followed by death." -- Thomas Nagel --- >> Why should I tidy my room, when the whole world is in a mess ??? << --- A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. - Herbert Prochnow --- "Doctors pour drugs of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, into human beings of whom they know nothing." (Voltaire) --- "If builders built buildings like programmers programed programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization." -???- --- Being Human just isn't enough fun. --- +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Killing for peace is like fucking for virginity | +----------------------------------------------------------------------+ --- | You are knowing it is a rock when it is falling on your head. | --- Keep Your Face to the Sun and You Cannot See the Shadows --- "So,God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs, God creates man, man destroys God, man creates dinosaurs, dinosaurs destroy man." -- Ian Malcolm "Then woman rules the Earth." -- Ellie Sattler --- In America they have Bill Clinton Stevie Wonder Bob Hope Jonny Cash In Switzerland we Have Adolf Ogi no Wonder no Hope no Cash --- ****** It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice ! ****** --- "On the first day everybody pointed at his country. On the third or fourth day everybody pointed at his continent. From the fifth day on we were no longer aware of the continents - we saw Earth only as one planet" Ben Salam Al Saud, shuttle flight STS-51G --- "The reason that God was able to create the world in seven days is that he didn't have to worry about the installed base" -- Enzo Torresi --- There's no government like no government! --- "Oh dear" says God "I hadn't thought of that" and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic... --- If we will ever be visited by Aliens, it will be very hard to explain, why a lifeform, that is intelligent enough to build atomic weapons can be stupid enough to do it. (taken from GEO special about space, page 88-91) --- "I'd like to donate my body to science after I die, but I'm afraid its taken far too much of it already" --- "Having to live with idiots is the price one pays for being clever" --- Say... didn't we go to different schools together? --- A mathematician is a device for converting coffee into theorems. (Paul Erd"os) --- Every titanic has its iceberg. --- Love is lovely but war is kinda ugly, --- Burn flags, so people will stop dying for them. But start with your own. --- "Man is an animal whose dreams come true and kill him." -- James Tiptree, Jr. --- "The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be." - Paul Valery --- Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of Western Civilization? Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea. --- Get stoned - drink wet concrete --- Christmas is a time for saying that Christmas is a time for doing things that, frankly, one should be doing anyway. -- Stephen Fry --- de-moc-ra-cy (di mok' ra see) n. Three wolves and a sheep voting on what's for dinner -- Bill Gunshannon, bill@cs.uofs.edu --- The hen is the egg's way of making another egg --- "We're only immortal for a limited time" RUSH, (Lee, Lifeson, Peart) --- Life is too important to be taken seriously. Oscar Wilde --- Sandra M. (Skamp) when the axe came into the forest 3 Hickory Tree Rd., the trees said Apt# 903, the handle Weston, ON is one M9N 3W5 of us --- "Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and then applying the wrong remedies." - G. Marx --- If the people will lead then the leaders will follow --- I'm not the Angel of Death, I'm the child of life --- Bob Marley --- "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." -A sinner, while casting stones. --- If God had meant for us to think He would have given us brains. --- I think I think; therefore, I think I am. -Ambrose Bierce --- "A technology whose lethal products last 100'000 years is not the way to boil water" -- Jerry Brown --- In theory there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. --- War is just a cowardly escape from the problems of peace. (Thomas Mann) --- "The Only Person Getting His Work Done By Friday Was ... Robinson Crusoe" --- # I think it's about time to forget about religion and get back to god. --- _____________________________________________________________________ /| | | | There are only two organizations that I know of that send armed | | | men in dark suits and sunglasses to take money they haven't earned: | | | the mafia and the government. -- Lenny Turetsky | | | | | | Lenny Turetsky (aka) lturetsk@minerva.cis.yale.edu | | |_____________________________________________________________________| |/_____________________________________________________________________/ --- Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. --- \______________ May your children and mine live in peace. ________________/ --- "You play with My World, like It's your little Toy." --- / "String Theory is 21st century Physics that fell accindently into / / into the the 20th century" / --- "You remind me of the sea." "Wild, romantic, and restless?" "No, you make me sick!" --- Gefaehrlich ist's den Leu zu wecken, verderblich ist des Tigers Zahn. Jedoch der schrecklichste der Schrecken, das ist der Mensch in seinem Wahn! (Friedrich Schiller, 'Die Glocke') --- "Life is what happens when you're making other plans." --John Lennon --- | Bashir: Which part of what you told me is true? | Garak: Why, all of it is true! | Bashir: Even the lies? | Garak: Especially the lies. --- "War never proves who was right, only who is left" --- If we want Peace, the things we must Accomplish to preserve it Are, first, to win each other's trust; And second, to deserve it. -- Piet Hein --- Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once. --- As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. Albert Einstein --- --------------------------------------------------------------- | ... and until bigotry and prejudice and malicious and inhuman | | self interest have been replaced by understanding, tolerance | | and goodwill ... there will be war | | -Bunny Wailer in a tribute to Bob Marley | --------------------------------------------------------------- --- I saw the Berlin wall fall, I saw Mandela walk free I saw a dream whose time has come change my history -- so keep on dreaming! --Heat, Dust & Dreams (Johnny Clegg & Savuka) --- Black holes are where God divided by zero --- God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things Right now I am so far behind I will never die --- "There's whole lotsa people talkin, but there's mighty few people know..." --- "It's a mistake to try and understand mathematics." -- Slartibartfast --- God said: E=mc^2 and --- there was light --- "There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors and no slave that has not had a king among his." ---- Helen Keller --- "Can I tell you what makes love so frightening? Its that you don't own it. It owns you." --- We can make it work! - Bob Marley. --- Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way. -- Alan J. Perlis --- "One planet is all you get." --- "The truth is an offense But not a sin..." - Bob Marley, "Jah Lives" --- Marriage is probably the main cause of divorce - Frank Burns --- Suicidez-vous jeune, vous profiterez plus longtemps de la mort --- Country borders: a reason for politicians to exist & argue --- Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he eats for a lifetime. --- It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top. --- The King said to the Priest: You keep them stupid, I'll keep them poor ! --- "If the theory of relativity is proven true, the Germans will call me a German, the Swiss will call me a Swiss citizen and the French will call me a great scientist. "If the theory of relativity is proven false, the French will call me Swiss, the Swiss will call me German and the Germans will call me a Jew" (A. Einstein) --- There's no such thing as a better race, only grateful human beings. --- "I hope I pass away in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in horror like his passengers" --- Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars I asked myself: "Where the hell is my roof?" --- Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. --- The thinking man looks at the world and sees a comedy. The feeling man looks at the world and sees a tragedy. --- Sex is like poker; if you have a good hand, you don't need a partner... --- If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called re-search! --- May 4th is Star Wars Day... you know, May the 4th be with you! --- The other day I saw a bumper sticker which read "Honk if you passed p-chem." I honked and the driver flipped me off. I guess he didn't pass --- "The moment a people allows itself to be represented, it is no longer free: it no longer exists." Jean Jacques Rousseau in 1762 --- "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, then it's good enough for me." - Arkansas congressman to Joint National Committee on Language --- Computers are useless, they only give you answers. -Pablo Picasso- --- .... YIP YAP YAP yip yip yip YAP yap yap *BANG* NO TERRIER --- "Press button to test." "Release to detonate." --- I know that I am God; When I pray I feel like I'm talking to myself. --- "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." --- Life is uncertain ... eat dessert first! --- "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was Douglas Adams to underestimate the ingenuity of complete Mostly Harmless fools." --- /* My views and opinions are not those of the U.S. Navy. If you want those, you have to start a war. */ --- The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. (B. Russell) --- Religious zealots: The world cannot end tomorrow -- it _is_ tomorrow in Australia. --- Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. Mark Twain: Manuscript note, c.1882. --- Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future. --Niels Bohr --- When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging --- "A man is not complete until he is married; then, he is finished." -- T. Klarich --- "Life is a sexually transmitted, terminal disease" --- "Don't take life so seriously, you can't get out of it alive anyway" --- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't. --- I believe that the highest promise of technology is to end war, feed the hungry and make life on earth more fulfilling. While you're waiting for that, enjoy the second-highest promise of technology -- the ability to buy "Dogbert" merchandise while sitting on your ass. --- I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. -- _A Bit of Fry and Laurie_ --- The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": 1. fighting; 2. fleeing; 3. feeding; and 4. mating. -- Psychology professor in neuropsychology intro course --- Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -- Oscar Wilde --- What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. -- Richard Harkness, _The New York Times_, 1960 --- It is possible for your mind to be so open that your brain falls out. --- Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. -- Dave Barry --- I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants. -- A. Whitney Brown --- A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until a majority of voters discover that they can vote themselves largess out of the public treasury. -- Alexander Tyler, eighteenth-century Scottish historian --- A Stanford research group advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 3,000 responses about three days after the ad came out. - All from the same person. --- There's an old story about the person who wished his computer were as easy to use as his telephone. That wish has come true, since I no longer know how to use my telephone. -- Stroustrup --- I am Homer of Borg! Prepare to be... Ooooooo! Donuts! --- Half of the people in the world are below average. --- There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets? -- Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate --- Life in a vacuum sucks. --- The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please divide by 0 and try again. --- Writing about music is like dancing about architecture. --- Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. -- Douglas Adams, _Last Chance to See_ --- No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man. -- Heraclitas --- "Life without you would be like a broken pencil." "How's that?" "Completely pointless." -- Blackadder, Series II --- On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK" --- When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?" -- Quentin Crisp --- Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep 'till noon. --- Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable. -- John F. Kennedy --- Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove. -- Ashleigh Brilliant --- My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. -- Ashleigh Brilliant --- Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her. --- Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way. --- And Jesus said unto them, "And whom do you say that I am?" They replied, "You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the ontological foundation of the context of our very selfhood revealed." And Jesus replied, "What?" --- These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it. -- Charles Barkley --- I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless we lose game five. -- Charles Barkley --- My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character. -- Charles Barkley, on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of figure skating" --- G M: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children? S: Yes, thirteen. G M: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden? S: Well, I love my husband. G M: Lady, I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth once in a while. -- Groucho Marx, on _You Bet Your Life_ --- A slipping sear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. -- In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance --- Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea): For best results: Wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good results: Drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack. --- G: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do?" EB: "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area." -- Somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4 --- The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. -- Salvador Dali --- Sacred cows make the best hamburger. -- Mark Twain --- Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman's toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace. -- From "A Woman's Worth" by Marianne Williamson --- When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. -- From "Basic Sex Facts For Today's Youngfolk" in _Life In Hell_ by Matt Groening --- Of all the people I know, you're one of them. --- Q: What did the instructor at the school for Kamikazi pilots say to his students? A: Watch closely. I'm only going to do this once. --- Families, when a child is born want it to be intelligent. I, through intelligence, having wrecked my whole life, Only hope the baby will prove ignorant and stupid. Then he will crown a tranquil life by becoming a Cabinet Minister. -- Su Tung-p'o --- "An expert is someone who has already made all the simple errors in a given field. The errors an expert makes are therefore the subtle ones." --- If voting could change the system, it wouldn't be legal. --- Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking --- Go ahead, jump. 100,000 lemmings can't be wrong. --- If I had a life I'd be having a mid-life crisis --- "There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot" -Dilbert --- "See one nuclear war - and you've seen 'em all" --- "What government is best? That which teaches us to govern ourselves." -Goethe --- "Free speech gives a man the right to talk about the 'psycology' of an amoeba, but I don't have to listen". Elihu Nivens in 'The Puppet Masters' --- I know you're an optimist if you think I'm a pessimist. --- Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. --- *** "One of the advantages of telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said." *** --- Heisenberg was probably here. --- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. --- Have you seen the latest Japanese camera? Apparently it is so fast it can photograph an American with his mouth shut! -- (Unknown) --- -ANARCHY- is the only type of government that ever survived longer than a few 100 years. --- "The Internet is an elite organization. Most of the people in the world have never even made a phone call." -- Noam Chomsky --- "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics." Attributed to: Mark Twain --- "You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can not fool all the people all of the time." -- Abraham Lincoln --- Smile. It makes people wonder what you're up to. --- "Mind works like a parachute, best when open" --- `When the lion has you half swallowed, probe with your feet for a vital spot; maybe you can kick him to death from the inside.' -- Spider Robinson --- Give a man a fish: feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish: feed him for life. Teach a hundred men to fish: empty the lake of fish. --- From Abraham Lincoln, I believe: "Q: If I call a tail a leg, then how many legs does a horse have?" "A: Four. The fact that I call a tail a leg, doesn't mean it is one" --- Braun's definition of a crash project? Trying to make a baby in one month, by getting nine women pregnant. --- Work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed. -- Vaclav Havel --- It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. --- *** Next time, I want to be my dog. *** --- In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases. --- "There are no nations! There is only humanity. And if we don't come to understand that right soon, there will be no nations, because there will be no humanity." -- Isaac Asimov, in _I. Asimov: A Memoir_ --- ``Hydrogen is a colourless, odourless gas which, given enough time, turns into people.'' --- Henry Hiebert --- Under Republicans, Man exploits Man. Under Democrats, it's just the opposite. --- Two rules of success in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know. --- Exxon Suxx. --- Graffiti: God did not create the world in 7 days; he screwed around for 6 days and then pulled an all-nighter. (University of Michigan) --- > The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new > discoveries, is not "Eureka!", but "That's funny ..." -- Isaac Asimov --- Windows 0.95 found - delete ? (Y)es - (S)ure - (O)k - (G)o on --- "Never let anything mechanical know you are in a hurry" --- God corrected her 1st mistake, by creating Eve. --- I'not schizo, and nether am I. --- The gods do not protect fools. Fools are protected by more capable fools. -Larry Niven --- I used to be schizophrenic but we are both all right now. --- "The great tragedy of Science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact." - T.H. Huxley - --- I'm starting to believe that more evil can be done in the name of "protecting our children" than with any other excuse. Declan McCullaugh (declan@well.com) --- Fundamentalism isn't about religion. It's about power. Salman Rushdie --- If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people in the world? --- Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think. --- ... Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. --- There is hardly a thing in the world that some man can not make a little worse and sell a little cheaper. --- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. --- "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen... and stupidity." --- "Change the world before someone else does it for you." --- If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with green, baggy skin. --- "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein --- "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." -- Mark Twain --- "I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat." - Unknown --- "Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind." -John Fitzgerald Kennedy, on War --- "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart." - Hellen Keller, on Beauty --- So easy a child can do it. Child sold separately. --- "It is better to risk saving a guilty person than to condemn an innocent one." - Voltaire --- The most important thing is to not stop questioning -Albert Einstein --- A subversive is anyone who can out-argue their government. --- When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults. -- Brian Aldiss --- "Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about." Philippe Schnoebelen --- If I give food to the hungry, they call me a saint. When I ask why they are hungry, they call me a communist. (seen on a car in Boston, MA) --- Who does not love wine, women, and song, Remains a fool his whole life long. -- Johann Heinrich Voss --- "Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly." (Batman Costume warning label) --- DISCLAIMER: Use of this advanced computing technology does not imply an endorsement of Western industrial civilization. --- If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the facts and the law are against you, run like hell. --- Time is a great teacher but it kills all its students. H. Berlioz --- Graduation. Sleep. Life. Pick any two. --- Instant human. Just add coffee. --- In the signature of someone who forgot to attach a document in the previous mail: If at first you don't succeed ... you're about normal. - A. E. Neuman --- "People who fight may lose. People who do not fight have already lost." - Bertolt Brecht --- If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions? --- It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature. --- Health is simply the slowest possible rate at which you can die. --- All systems are capitalist. It's just a matter of who owns and controls the capital. -Ronald Reagan --- Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. - Seen in Washington Post --- Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. - Seen in Washington Post --- Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. - Seen in Washington Post --- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out. - Seen in Washington Post --- Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away. - Robert Orben --- Quis Custodiet Ipsos Custodes. Who will watch the watchmen. -- Juvenal, circa 128 AD --- "Until the lions have their historians, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter" --- What if you slept? And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed? And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there plucked a strange and beautiful flower? And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand? Ah, what then? Samuel Taylor Coleridge --- There is no future in time travel. --- Because light travels faster than sound, some people appear to be intelligent, until you hear them speak. --- No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks. -- Article 12 Universal Declaration of Human Rights --- Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings. --- "If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face forever." -- George Orwell, "1984" --- I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Chinese Proverb --- Data is the plural of anecdote. -- George Stigler --- God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. -- Voltaire --- Unnamed Law: If it happens, it must be possible. --- Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense. (mao che minh on /.) --- Atheism is a non-prophet organization. (Source: George Carlin collection of 1-liners) --- When I was a little kid, I always wanted a bicycle, so I prayed to god for a bicycle. Then I realized that god doesn't work that way, so I stole a bicycle and prayed for forgiveness. (unknown) --- Person who say it cannot be done should not interrupt person doing it. -- Chinese Proverb --- Buy land, they're not making it anymore. - Mark Twain --- "A non-smoking section in a restaurant is like a non-peeing section in a pool". --- If it weren't for the Star Wars' research, we would have never had laser pointers. - Aleksandar Ignjatovic @ UNSW --- It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong. -- Voltaire --- Progress is a nice word. But change is its motivator. And change has its enemies. John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) ---